Parking Lesson

Many of you might remember the "parking lesson" incident at the 1976 reunion at Albright. I would have loved to heard Grandpa explain how it happened to his insurance agent!

I had had my driver's license for about a month and stayed with Grandma and Grandpa (H. Ray) the night prior to the reunion. Grandma suggested to Grandpa that I drive to reunion. At first he refused, but after some effective coercion as Grandma was quite capable of, he conceded. We got ready and headed for the garage.

Now, as many of you know, his garage was quite a tight fit for a full size car of the time. Well, he wouldn't let me back the car out of the garage for fear of me scratching it or hitting the garage on the way out. He backed the car out and proceeded to give me a lesson on the proper operation of HIS car. About 3 minutes into the lesson, Grandma put a kabash on him and told him to get in the car and let me drive us to the reunion. Well, this set Grandpa's mood quite effectively...

I drove to the church which was only about a mile without incident and the car was well, let's say it was quiet. I pulled up to the curb and let Grandma out as any young gentleman would and then Grandpa and I drove a couple of spaces forward in front of the gym of the church and I parallel parked his car.

Well, Grandpa was still in a "teaching" mood after Grandma had stopped the prior lesson in progress. Grandpa got out of the car and placed his foot between the tire and the curb and there was 2 inches clearance between his foot and the tire! I said that was a dandy job of parallel parking and he said "Nope, I'll show you a dandy job!"

Well, what happened next is permanently indelled upon my mind as I was in total shock, amazement, and generally stupefied! Grandpa proceeded to move the car closer and closer to the curb and eventually over the curb and then he streaked his car the full length from bumper to bumper on the lightpost. It was an awful noise of screeching metal.

Now, ONCE, I can understand, but here's the good part... he had to straighten the car out so he pulled forward with the car still against the lightpost! It was an even worse noise of screeching, crunching and destruction as he tore the passenger side of his car to shreds. Now the car was perfectly straight and parallel, just that it was now about 18 inches over the curb and about 3 inches closer to the lightpost than his car could be and still be intact.

He got out and looked at me and the car and said "Now there's a dandy parking job!" and walked into the gym. Once I gained my composure and realized that Grandpa had just wrecked his car, I ran into the church and found my Dad. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or what! I'm sure my Dad didn't either! He sure didn't believe it! He thought I did it!!! Who me??? Not THIS time, padre!!!

Well, I'll let my Dad finish this story...

I'm off to St. Charles, MO for a few days on business.